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The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 136 [08-15-1855]

accompanied with vomiting.   The hot weather punishes me, and
thinking of the recently-experienced home love, I feel very lonely.
Ah! kindly George Clarke, and ah manly Boutcher, how true,
right thinking, and right acting are ye contrasted with those I know
now ��                  Alf draws nearer to me than others.    I wish
he were not engaged in this business.    Perchance I have no friend
on this continent, save Barth at distant Mackinac.
     But at the bottom of my troubled soul, I ever see the calm,
kind, earnest, face of the dear English country girl, so far away.
It bids me love and wait, and pray to God.     May he grant
that I may not go through life unloved.   The old, old drama
of my first love has passed away, (only at long intervals is there
a sad echo of �It might have been�, in the very core of my heart, �
and then I�d wish to lie down and die;)  but I am well content
with my present hopes, and tremulously alive to the fear of making
shipwreck this time.)                      Welden has been up, and Banks,
and Alf Waud.   He is ill-content with his brother and Sol
Eytinge.      Banks don�t shew well in prosperity.  He swills
lager beer, loafs about, and vents vociferous braggadochio, and
little spites.
  16.  Thursday.   Haney up, and Alf Waud.   Up-town
in the evening to the boarding house of the former, (the Wauds accom-
panying,) with intent to visit Parton, (Greeley�s biographer,) but he
was not within, and the evening was wasted.
  17. Friday.  Indoors all day, ill content and unhappyish.
  18. Saturday.  Mr Alcock called.     To the Picayune
Office, where were Levison & Haney.     Dined in company               
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