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The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 177 [12-01-1855]

  1. Saturday.   I have resolved to diversify employments,
and the scene of them.  So to the Mercantile all the morning,
going through Blackwood�s Mag.   Parton came there awhile,
and we returned down town together.       A letter from Han-
nah.          Inserted advertisement in the Tribune, for three
small bed rooms, one common sitting-room and partial board,
it having been drawn up by Parton, with intent that he, I
and Haney should abide together.     At Bank�s in the evening,
he and O�Mana there.                     I have omitted in last
month�s chronicle to speak of Heylyn�s visit to New York.
He came hither on an errand to dispose of a number of artificial
flies, he had made in lack of all Architectural employment.
It is the only thing in the world he can do � at 30.  Of course
he discovered that they could be made infinitely cheaper in New
York, and that he could not sell them.        His �Architectural� ex
perience has been cofined to one job, paying the rent for an
Office, and having cards printed.      His mother wearies of sending
him money, and he must do something.             For three days
was he here, talking in the old, joyless, lewd, desperately foolish,
wretched way � attempting to bully himself into the belief that he
could get a living, clutching at anything, but latently conscious of
his own wasted life, � incapable of amending it.            He made
me additionally miserable, � I even fancied a hideous parallel
between our non-successless lives, which frightened me.    An
unjust one too, God knows.  /           I had too, a kind, pleasant
letter from Dillon Mapother � now at Chicago.               
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