Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 228 [04-12-1856]

              229
in the future.    That girl I loved so well, and whom
I could have made so happy, and who would
have made a mad of me in place of the poor devil
I felt like.    Let me not be judged as wholly
selfish, if I thought better to secure the happiness
of two, in place of the wretchedness of all three.
  If by removing myself Mary had been happy,
without murmuring I would have done it.    But
consideration for a man I hated could not be expect-
ed.                            When she consented to fly it
was well knowing the cost, and with a fair estimate
of the vindictive and constant persecution that fol-
lowed; also of the disgrace attaching to our names,
and that in this good world (where all do the
same, and worse, with the slight difference that
they do it on the sly) we should be shunned as
fearful sinners.    We prepared to brave it all.
Liberty to live and die together was all we wished,
no ceremony was necessary to bind our love, and
we have been as happy as we can expect, with
one exception, Mary�s fervant wish to see her
mother, and gain her forgiveness, a wish almost
without hope.      To that Mother, long since,
she would have confided all, but tht the actions
of her friends were not calculated to inspire confi-
dence.                                This sheet is written
without her knowledge, in the hope that her Mother               
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