Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 115 [12-07-1856]

practical comment by saying to a child running about
the floor �Come here you pretty little G_d-d____d
to h__l darling! come here!�
  8.  Monday.        Two letters, one from Han-
nah, the other from Barth.                       I am
only worthy of Hannah on one head � I thoroughly
appreciate and value her.       Apart from that, she
is so kind, so good, and so wise, that I think of
her with self abasement and humility � even with a 
kind of terror at my own worthiness, and the fear
that I may never have her for my wife, or if
I do, that some weakness and shortcoming may disen-
chant her and deprive me of her priceless love.
  I swear I would not have her different than she
is by one jot!   that I have never met girl with
her unaffected sense, modesty and loving kindness.
Mary Bilton had more beauty, but she was a 
coquette by nature, ere her plunge into chapel going.
Hannah�s soul in is as pure as a woman�s can be
� how pure that is no man can ever know!    Now
God help me to scour mine a lt little!  to be
honest, and true, and brave, in heart as well
as in action!        I would to God I could wipe
out all my past love for Mary Bilton � it is
past now.      I am shamed that I cannot offer
an unscarred love to this noble girl.    Yet I
think I should never have prized her and known
her worth as I do � as I do � but from having               
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