Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 153 [08-14-1850]

              long is this to last?   I am conscious of something mournfully
ludricous in my almost hopeless love.         Hopeless? � Oh no,
not that � never that Mary, in God�s name �
       Here�s Brown in fret and worry, that the girl he loves is in
Boston; � he hath written, requesting her to shorten her visit, by
a half, and in anxious dread of not receiving a letter from her, he
even thought of telegraphing on there. He makes me his confidant,
of all his heart�s thoughts, � and how my heart yearns to do the same.
But no, no, no!   Never yet have I babbled the dearest, saddest
secret of my life and hope, nor will I now profane it, spite of the ease 
it would give.
  15.   Drawing the �B�hoys running wid der masheene� on the wood
all day; till evening; then to Duane Street.   Stroll up Broadway
with Mr Hart and Mapother.   At a Gymnasium in Canal Street,
Brown and his two brothers there, (all red flannel.)   Fellows doing
every sort of possible and impossible performance; leaping on spring boards,
revolving on cords; [pstycuffing?] with big stuffed bag; rolling over and
hooking on to poles in every variety of position.     Big weights, and feats
of strength for development of muscles.
  16. Monday.  To the �Atlas� Office, with block, calling in at the
�Era� by the way.  Also at �lager Bens.�      Southworth and Horrick
there.    To the �Life� Office.     Mattice not yet returned.      Afternoon
after a read, to Kierstiens again, making a sketch on canvas for
coloring there, divers Frenchmen &c present.    Evening, a friend of
Browns yclept Fogg calleth; whereupon we have brandy, punch &               
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