Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 091 [01-25-1859]

              79
as she does, all that�s proferred as though that
were the remedy, yet drifting off into inconsequence, got
I think a minute�s comfort from a pardox � that the
very dread of insanity indicated her distance from it.   So
she went off into Gods� mild, sunny morning, through the
live streets, with the blue sky and delicate white clouds
over head, as wretched a creature as might be, for all
her money.   I am really sorry for her � should be for
anybody in such condition.   What a Hell of suffering lies
in that one word � Nervousness.    There are as selfish,
vapid women as she who never feel that their lives are
based on falsity and by so much are the wickeder.
Now I fear that if Mrs Church were here, she would, 
I won�t say triumph, but she would find no pity for
Mrs Gouverneur.   That one thing she lacked � mercy, for-
giveness to others � especially her own sex.   This grew out
of her pride, self-respect self-opinion � call it what you
will.   And that is the one thing of all others which makes
women loveable.  And loveable she was not.     She has
written neither to the Martins, to Mrs Potter, nor myself,
and so, nobody knows where she�s got to.   I should wish,
very much to hear from her � the high-souled, generous,
lady that she truly was � high-bred throughout � only lacking
that one thing; there the infernal American, unchristian
self esteem came in � how I hate it!        My Hannah!
you are worth all the Yankee women in this barbarism
miscalled a civilized country!                         What
asses are those who rail at Thackeray as putting too much               
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