Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 207

              [newspaper clipping]
  If there is a nuisance it is your boaster; a
fellow whose stock in trade is his chance ac-
quaintances with people of note, male or female;
who speaks of them in the most familiar man-
ner,�as if he were on the most intimate terms
of friendship�on all occasions and without oc-
casion;�calling a lady impertinently by her
given name, in a saloon or restaurant, that his 
gaping auditors may infer on what a delightful-
ly free-and-easy footing he stands with her;
quoting more times than there are seconds in a
year, the one time in which he might by some
accident have appeared in public with her; en-
dorsing the same with knowing looks and grim-
aces, and �you understand, my dear fellow,� to
the great astonishment of some far-off worship-
per of the lady, who, too modest even to seek
an introduction to her, innocently-exclaims, with
uplifted hands, looking at the ill-bred, boasting
pigmy before him, �He an intimate friend of
hers!  Lucky escape!�
  The harm such creatures may do, where this
species of viper are not understood, may be
easily guessed.  I say �viper,� because such a
fellow will not hesitate the sting, even while fawn-
ing; he will meanly solicit favors which your
good nature grants, to repay them with shrugs
and innuendos behind your back, where he
thinks he can do with safety to himself.
  Every one who has made a success in the
world has been bored and imposed upon by this
sort of people.  Lucky if the impertinence they
return for your kindness has not so disgusted
the person sought, as to make him or her suspi-
cious of every new introduction.  Lucky if it
do not compel the naturally trusting, generous
heart to miserly pittances of geniality and social
feeling.  Nevertheless, if you discover that such
fellows have passed your threshold, show them
the shortest way over it; they were always rea-
dy to sting you even while cringing, they can
do no worse than that when you rid yourself of
their presence. 		    FANNY FERN.               
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