Contempt in every phrase. [words crossed out]
[words crossed out]! / Charley arriving sent me off
to Genin the hatters, with whom, after some confab, I agreed to make drawings
of some thousands of varied head-gear, of all ages. Returned through the
pitiless breezy, gusty, death-cold evening, dropping in, again, by the way
at the Office, and finding chilly Macnamara and Pelham sitting by the
fire place. Evening, (this present time), with Waud and Brown. Egg-
flip, converse, philosophic, and on the metaphysics of love, Self Control
and scoretiveness. Charley Brown loveth not as I do, though perchance
more wisely, inasmuch as he doth not unveil his own soul to her he loves
but playeth the more reserved party. He thinketh of what is she to him,
and believeth that woman�s love is but a past recompense for a man�s appreciation
of her. Withal he has infinite tact and power of self control, even in the
expression of his passion, and will not forget self respect in displaying it, as I did
of yore most unwisely. Had I loved less, or have controlled and hidden my
feelings better I should not have suffered as I did. [words crossed out]
24. Tuesday. Drawing Head-gear in company with Charley, who was at
work on block for the Era. In the Afternoon Butler called, and Mr Hart.
Evening Joe called. I made a brief rush down town to Genin�s, through
the cold Christmas Eve Night, then returned. Charley joining us, we four
brew egg-flip and cock kidneys by stove. Eating, drinking, and some little
talk worth naming till 12.
25. Wednesday and Christmas Day, of all good days in the Year.
Off with Waud to Hoboken, a fresh frosty morning. A party of militia
crossing, and divers Sportsmen bent of the resolve to astonish Hoboken birds.
Joined some three of the latter and a tramp through the marshes, leaping
half frozen streams with good or bad success, sliding over bearable ones, hurrying
along over the sharp hard, crackling ground, and our breaths streaming out