Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 212 [09-03-1860]

	And deservedly miserable.
that well enough, I have told her so in so
many words; I would tell her of Hannah
but that I hate confidences of that sort, as
known beyond the two concerned, it vulgarizes,
robs it of its dearest characteristic.       For the
Mary Bilton affair, that�s dead and buried,
I might indulge myself there, having been reti-
cent all my life, or nearly so.       And Haney
knows I can have no feeling but strong liking
for Sally.        When he was rejected, when I
suspected he didn�t want me at Grafton, a
year ago, I informed him there was a girl
in England whom I should marry directly
I could.     Perhaps he thinks I�m drifting
from it, or maybe it�s jealousy sans suspicion.
Reflecting that he has never visited me since
my return from the country, that my calls up-
on him for some time previous were greatly in
excess over his on me, on a good many things,
I had felt as though I were dropping into the
same position towards him as he bears to
Parton and had resolved, lonely as I might
be in consequence, to woo no more liking at the
close of self-respect.   All friendships not
based on justice and fair play � �so much as you
give you shall receive� � bring a certain amount
of contempt on he who is content to be liked               
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