Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 209 [12-31-1860]

              190
             What might have Happened.
a letter of mine produced � denied � a cry
rised of �Let�s lynch the G__ d___ s__ of a 
b____!� � hands upon me � a mad scuffle �
snap! snap! bang � a man or two shot down
� then a knife-thrust or a pistol bullet in one�s
heart, a keen pang of physical pain, a rush
of hot blood, a dreadful ache like that following
a bad cut intensified, a sense of syncope � extreme weakness
or suffocation and all over!         I even
wondered how it would reach the ears of my
friends and those who loved me, what sort of
a story would be related.             There were times
when I was so morbid and miserable that
I seemed not to care much how the business
ended, but this was only during the first
week, when the weather, the ominous aspect
of affairs and the weary eternal talk of Se-
cession had combined to oppress me.   New
York and England appeared a long way off;
I had no particular desire to back out from
my task either though I felt I was in for the
entire performance and could not avoid being
tremendously interested in it.      But it was
hardly a jolly time and I often thought there
were folks living at home at ease who earned
$15 a week more comfortably.    When
the weather improved and my legs didn�t� ache               
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