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The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 146 [07-25-1851]

              regards you intently, an almost [word crossed out] ^|distrustful| look of keenness and 
desire of seeing what
you really are.     [words crossed out]. A fair-face should be more tranquil and 
giving. She has no full flow of girlish spirits, and controls her self.   Told
me however with [word crossed out] quiet emphasis how Charley Brown had said he 
didn�t think
she could Love.   She�s [word crossed out] severe in judging Lotty�s wilfulness; perhaps 
for a woman to be so.    But then, is it marvel, when the girl has been  so
carelessly tended.                Left about 11, a few minutes after the two masculines;
making a successful, that is to say not a dull good night.
[line crossed out]
[line crossed out]
This girl has beauty, and concentrated common-sense, � that�s a hard quality for a 
woman.   I know no more of her, as yet.     I think not of her loveliness of
form sensually, yet by the Aphrodite of Homer, what a moment to clasp her
in mine arms and feel her queen-like beauty glow with love and returned
transport.     But that way � (ever passion of the senses lies; though I might
fall and succumb to it  I know that no pure lasting love can flow from it
alone; such should follow, not lead the soul.  Does she � can she imagine such
a moment I wonder?  /    M B. The same initials � Oh, Never
will you be mine Mary, but I think that never again can face so flash
thought and emotion into my heart, as did yours, long time ago.  You were
never what I believed and are less so now, than ever, yet how pleasant was that
belief. /                       Walking to the Ferry, met Watts, keeper of the Nassau
Street book store & imbibed with him.
  26. Saturday.   Holmes wanting me, at his office all day, putting
in landscape to survey.       Evening, intended crossing to New York to inquire at
boarding-house, but time waning, deserted my intent, so I went to Davis�s.
Found him & a going Irish carpenter with some score pieces of meat, as on the 
morrow a great Christening party was to be given to some thirty Irish friends               
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