lying on the wood-pile leaning over the sunny sparkling water, again and
again I had absurd suggestions rising in my mind, to leap in. Now this was
one of those mild forms of Morbid Impulse we are all, I think at times sub-
ject to. In some perilously grave assembly, a church, a dining room or the
like, who hasn�t at times felt an almost irresistable inclination to say something
horribly stupid, or vulgar, or to yell aloud like an exultant fiend; or,
in short to do something he knows to be wrong and incongruous. I have
at times when, at home, my father was engaged in family prayer, felt this
sort of thing so strongly that nothing by pressing hand on mouth, owed a violent
wrenching as it were, of my mind from the subject could check me. Byron
says, and it is acknowledged by all, that when standing on the brink of a precipice
�You can�t gaze a minute
Without an awful wish to plunge within it.�
and that is a strong instance. (He, himself, it is said stood over a sleeping
man, knife in hand, saying �I�d like to know what a murderer�s feelings must
be!� / These metaphysical mysteries in our nature are marvellously anxious.
12. Tuesday. To Duane Street. Out, with Mr Hart, he quitting me at
Wall Street, Posted letter for the mag-nanni-mouse Keating. At Holmes� all
day. Afternoon had a letter and a kindly one from Alf Waud. Evening,
called at Duane Street, a stroll on the pier with Mr Hart, sat awhile on our
return; then left, called at the Deutsche bootmaker Weber�s in Canal Street,
and then to my solitary room. / Mr Johns called this afternoon at
Duane Street. He�s established in Williamsburgh, as builder & architect &c!
�With hey! ho! The wind and the rain!�
13. Wednesday. At Wall Street till 11, then Mr Hart & Dillon came
for me. Two unsuccessful attempts to see Stewart, the Marble-palace-dry
goods-man, apropos of the Broadway Directory. Holmes again. Anticipated
meet Mr Hart at 6, at Stewarts, but he came not. Met Mr Greatbatch &