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The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 169 [08-30-1851]

              [word crossed out]!   But I fear � [word crossed out]     Already dost thou feel the 
hollowness of those
about thee, and turneth from one face to another and never, in half despairing 
hope of some reality. Sayest then, at thy young age, that thou believest not in the
truth and constancy and faith of men � well mayest thou think it.   Oh what
asses environ thee!  [words crossed out] Excellent asses many of them � but Asses!
Cooper is a good-tempered generous fellow � but ass, I�m sure. [word crossed 
[words crossed out] � [words crossed out]. Pope [words crossed out],
plays well at billiards; � but could he love thee as thou dost deserve to be
loved?     And Stewart � and God knoweth who beside!     When wilt thou
find among them with brains enough to understand thee. Not one!     And I
do suppose that all thy ^|better| [words crossed out] nature will never
be developed, and some common place dog win thee to wife after all. �The
pity of it � the pity of it Horatio!�   /     Could I select a mortal
worthy of her, what should he be?     Why, a frank, noble, unsophisticated
nature, one who�d love her with his whole heart; and fresh to the world with
its back sounds and sights.  And he � wouldn�t win her. He�d be
too much in earnest, and his delicacy of feeling would revolt from these offering
grosser incense, around her.       Well, [words crossed out] bright eyed Lotty! �
albeit, I know, perfectly well, you think me [word crossed out] carper, [words crossed 
[words crossed out] I could forgive you much more than that. � What
matters it what you think of me � I know what you are, and admire
you more than the whole crowd of them, and yet am not in love with you.
  31. Sunday. To the Battery in company with Wilhelm Meister. Met
Watts, and with him.  Book talk for an hour, then he left.   Reading
under the trees shade.   Afternoon Royal called, with a little daughter.  I
like the man, he�s a Christian.     Out with him, & parting on Grand
Street,  I went to Mr Greatbatchs.   Supped there, and subsequently
to the Battery with Joe.     How on earth is it he can�t say or think               
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