Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 087 [11-07-1852]

              7. Sunday.     Domestic chores all the morning.
Dined at Sweeney�s with Waud & Fay; then to Office.
Waud at the portrait, I reading &c.   Supped together,
then I called at Royal�s & stayed till 9 or so.   To
Swinton & Fay�s room, with Waud awhile, then to bed,
to sleep � aye, and to dream.  Towards the morning,
when, according to Ovid & Alain Rene le Sage�s Asmodeus
dreams may presage some shadows of truth, did I dream
that which, alas, never, never will come true.
   She was here,  with me,  reunited by simple incongruous
circumstance!   But oh! what a meeting it was � Oh
me!      That it should be but a dream!    Such warm, loving,
passionate words, each glad heart-trusting faith & tender-
ness, such talk of old time,  long separation, such clinging
to each other, heart to heart, such tears,   such blessed
trust and hope and happiness for the future � such 
a vista of Heaven�s light pouring in � !
    All a Mirage � all!    But I almost wish I could
never have waked from that dream!      Foolishly
said,    & foolishly written down, all this fond dream.
But I love her Still, and I love Without Hope.
  She will never be my Wife � I may never see her
again in the World.               
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