Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 221 [06-17-1853]

              and then lit a cigar.    Lotty gave me one & lit one herself.
Morse came in, smoked too;  and then Mrs K who didn�t.
Lotty sang some songs, and anon Whytal came in, and
the rest leaving, at intervals,  we three were left together
sitting on sofa.    She after some of her wonted declarations
of recklessness as to herself, ran off into an anti-maternal
comment on her past; saying, (truly enough for that part)
she never had a mother to tell her �that is wrong�  &c.
Her father played mother in part.   When she was a child
that woman would leave her for a fortnight,  leading a more
inane, egotistic and perchance guilty life than she does now.
She never loved child or husband.    Neither does Lotty,
so Selfishness and Self Will are hereditary.     This Lotty
sees not.         A thousand things did she say, always-ring-
ing the changes on Self,  eternal Self, demanding every
thing,  willing to give nothing.      Some of her words glanced
at Whytal, and he stung by them spoke up warmly.   I
said not much, till insensibly launched into converse, got
earnest, and spoke to her of her duties as mother and wife.
  So it went on, till waxing late, I left, telling her I know
of the fogyism and boredom of telling such truths to her.  She
had my hand in hers.   Whytal had turned his back to get
his hat to accompany me.   She put my hand to her lips, and               
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