14
as a sorrowful fact that I shall walk through life alone, never
knowing the dear privileges, the trust, the faith, the unutterable
tenderness of Loving and being loved.          And yet, methinks
now it�s harder to give up the hope of hearing the word
�Father� than �Husband.�         I never see a pretty child but
it sets me musing after this fashion .   I long to own them, to
pet them, to love them and teach them to love me, � to make
an ass of mtself to any extent for them.       There�s nothing more
beautiful in Gods� earth than children.      They are the only sincere
people I know, out of books.        /                All to bed
at about 11, a little room to ourselves with four berths in�t.
Snug cleanly beds, hot atmosphere .  Waud in the lower berth
was soon asleep, as was Dillon .   I and Mr Hart talked
awhile; anon he dropped off,     I lay looking out at the
solemn moonlight on the water,  the dark moving river banks, &
occasionally at a passing soul, thinking over many things till
I fell asleep.
  12.  Tuesday.  New York by 4 o�clock.  All ashore &
parting I walked to my room, opened closed blinds, admitted sun-
light & had a good wash.     Anon down town to breakfast
at Goslings, called at Post Office, at Bunnell & Price�s, at
Wells & Webbs, & Strongs.      Drawing all the afternoon.  Mr
Hart & Dillon called once.       Evening to Beach Street.  Mrs
Kidder up stairs whist playing with Morse, &c     Lotty came.
Talking with her till 11, then left.
  13.  Wednesday. Down town to breakfast, Picayune Office &
Strong�s.     Divers folks called at my Office, Hutching�s &c.