Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 048 [08-08-1853]

              he�d been to Beach Street, and had interview with Mrs Kidder,
who was �polite� to him.     He�d shut her up, in fact.       And
how the nurse had cried at the notion of parting with the child, on
which he said she shouldn�t as yet, as he�d pay her for nursing
it.        Then came the retrospective matters.        �I was a fool� said
he �to marry a woman who allowed me to take every liberty before
we were married!�  �Every liberty?� said I, �did it go as far as
that?�      Out he spake in coarse brothel-phrase that it had.
With details.        She had allowed him to be in her room, some
evenings before, and that was the result.      There was weeping
after it, �she cried � said he.       He made a merit of marrying
her.    �I might have gone to New Orleans, or Texas� said he,
I could have done well there, and what could she have done.�
She said she should have killed herself.        I was hurried into the
marriage.     I used to say to myself  �what are you doing of?   I
knew what actresses where,� had always taken what chances came in
my way.   But I did not love the little devil.�     But that he
knew that he was the first, he would not have wedded her.
Then he spoke of her conduct after marriage.  Of her coquettings
with a fat Englishman, twice her age, and correspondence with him,
unknown to Whytal.     That she wrote once proposing to run off with
him, [word crossed out] if she could go back to New York.
     Shall I, Jean Jacques Rousseau like put down thoughts that
I should despise myself for?   When I heard him tell all this,
coarsely enough, scant grammar and gutter phrase; � when I heard
this,  knowing right well as I do, that Never yet did, or can
come true happiness of that impure passion bred by desire, � that               
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