Lehigh University
The Vault at PfaffsAn Archive of Art and Literature by the Bohemians of Antebellum New York
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Text for Page 051 [08-08-1853]

              into the dank streets, a fire in my heart and veins, and
unspeakable thoughts in my brain.
     It�s well I go tomorrow.     I must master this business. Hot
Passion will say  Go on,  thought it lead to Hell and nether
confusion, � go on, for never since in Crana�s Isle Paris
clasped Helen, was there form and face thou wouldst rather hold
in love extacy to thy heart than this girls. /     But oh the
devils that assuredly will follow.         Be noble and manly and
do no wrong here.  If shame and sin come, let it not be by
thy opening the door.     Supposing thou I coudst have this, �
and in faith I know not, yea, or nay, � supposing thine such
passion as she has to offer were possessed by thee � (be still
accursed pulses at the thought!)  wouldst thou wish her to be
thy companion through the serious bridging betwixt two eternities,
Life.     Is she fitting for�t? Couldst thou make her so?
No, and thousand times, No!       And if so, is she to drift
away to fresh sorrow and wrong, having met another Scoundrel
to blacken her already obscured path.     Very easy were it
to play Sophist here.      To say, What is she, what comes she
of, � think of the mother, the Father   &c  do your best to
have a pretty girl love you.     But  Bah! If I did wrong,
I wouldn�t try to call it Right, but walk to hand-shaking
with the devil knowing him to be one.
     Oh Lotty! perverse, foolish denetful, strangely frank,
not altogether bad, human creature, I would I could help thee!
That those beautiful brown eyes could look calm and peaceful.
And that the kissings of thy sweet lips did not remain on mine               
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