[JANUAKY 7, 1860.
THE SONG- OF THE SOUTHERN SAWBONES.
I'm & student—a medical student—
And one of the F. F. Vs.,
I shall have to go,
■l (In order to get my quid pro quo,)
From these Universi-ties:
For I can't stand your Abolition-—
Drs. Luckett and McGuire
Have said that my position
Was enough to excite the ire
Of all of the F. F. Vs.,
So I'm forced to go,
: As you very well know,
From these Universi-ties:
'Tis true that my tuition
Is paid, and that I can become
A vastly better physician
At the North, than I can at home ;
But still, as Drs. McGuire
And Luckett say we nmst depart,
I would go throughwater and fire,
Through political filth and mire,
For the home Of my birth and my heart!
I'm a student—a medical student—
One of theF. F. Vs.,
So I have to go
—And I have to blow—
I have paid, you know,
. My quid pro quo—
Just where these two M.D's.,
Drs. Luckett and McGuire,
May happen to desire,
In short, wherever they please :
The South gives us lectures gratis—
Glad to have us at whatever price—
There'll be quite a Jam—Jam satis—
In that medical paradise,
Which, under the Southern heaven,
For us flings open its portals,
•'*■ And kneads apolitical leaven
To leaven the;dough-faced mortals
Who ^'cannot* see
How it happens to be,
That Dr. McGuire
And Luckett, M. D.,
Can stir up a flame of sectional fire
- w" \ In thebreast of an F. F. V.
• Then down vrith the Northern college!
Though1 its teachings are very fine,
And there isn't much medical knowledge
In that glorious home of mine,
Which lies t'other side of the boundary
Called Mason and Dixon's Line!
We did intend that our stampede
Should be (as it should have been)
In a body, but pur intentions
Unfortunately have caved in ;
4nd, instead of the whole two hundred,
We are only a slim seventeen!
But as I am a medical student,
. And one of the F. F. Vs.,
I feel it ausolemh duty .
That every "S&uthef her sees;
' To go,
For my quid pro quo,
. From these Universi-ties !
SIGNS OF THE TIMES.
The Evening Post, in its editorial columns, lately puffed the wares
of sundry gentlemen in the clothing line (we didn't say clothes
line), one of whom is saddled with the following: "Mr. - 's
motto is 'Excelsior,' which he interprets so as to read ' the best ready-
made clothing.'" This strikes us as being rather a free translation,
quite on the mulium inparvo order—though very convenient and ap-
propos for the trade. We suppose, after the same manner, Mr. Win-
dust extracts from his iiNunquamnonparatus,,f "All kinds of game
in season—orders for private parties promptly and satisfactorily attended to ;" while the patriotic "E Pluribus IJhum" of other caterers may be rendered equivalent to " Oysters on the half-shell;
families supplied by the quart, hundred, or thousand."
But this is not all.. We would respectfully call the attention of
Members of Congress (and especially of Senator Foote) to the above,
so that hereafter, when *' stumping'' their respective districts, they
may employ some other style of rhetorical flourish, lest there be
among the audience, some stray tailor or hotel-keeper to accuse
them of stealing his thunder.
Something for the Marines.
When Mr. James says, "Maud Clarendon's hair/lay in brown
waves on her forehead," may we not infer that Maud is afflicted
with water on the brain 1?
How to Preserve the Union.
Keep it in good Spirits.
Whoever is compelled to pass that odorous institution, the Rob-
inson^street live-stock-market, must be struck with the absurdity of
calling oxen, cows, etc., "Neat Cattle."
A Correspondent is anxious that Vanity Fair shall not overlook local politics. We hasten to assure him that all of our engravings for next week will be upon Wood.
— ,^». .—
The worst possible Solution of the Problem,
THE EXTRAORDINARY AND TERRIBLE MANNER IN
WHICH THE SOUTHERN STUDENT GOT HIS BACK UP.