[APRIL 21, 1860.
HINTS TO OMNIBUS DRIVERS.
If, from your airy elevation, you perceive a lady, or any number
of ladies, standing quietly upon a corner, drive immediately before
them and stop. No matter if they shake reluctant heads at you ;
you have only to let open your door, and look sternly at them, ejaculating at the same time, "Now then," or " Come, now," and the
chances are that, sooner than subject themselves to continued mortification, they will enter your vehicle with celerity.
Should it occur to you that they occupy more time than is necessary in getting in, you have only to draw your strap smartly as the
last one stands upon the steps. A little practice will enable you
to calculate closely, so as to catch the ancle just between the door
and the jamb. You may be sure that neither the lady so admonished, nor her companions, will cause you any future inconvenience
in this way.
In arranging your change for fares, be careful to insert the coins
in your mouth, and moisten them well before resigning them.
This renders them obnoxious to the decent touch, and persons have
frequently been known to drop them at once upon the floor, rather
than defile their fingers. Coins so dropped among the straw become
of course your perquisite. It is said that a well-known Broadway
driver has recently retired to an elegant home upon the Hudson,
there to enjoy a sumptuous fortune amassed in this way.
Whenever your omnibus is so full that it can contain no more,
and the accumulation of sixpences is checked, it becomes necessary
to reduce your freight. This may be done by rushing into violent
contact with drays, curb-stones, opposing wheels, &c. You will soon
perceive indications of internal agitation. By loud and vigorous
swearing at the imaginary blunders of those with whom you come
in collision, you may give an additional shock to some of your passengers, a number of whom will presently be sure to alight, and
leave space for new comers.
If one of your horses falls, sit perfectly unconcerned, and let the
police and bystanders erect him. It may be proper for you to volunteer a suggestion of a kick, or something of that sort; but under no circumstances should you stir from your box. He who
leaves his post of duty in time of trouble is less than a man.
Guiding yourself by these suggestions, your way of life will be
easy, and your prospects of affluence speedy.
Not a Very Hard Case.
The daily papers have chronicled the following absurd performance :
UA gentleman of Cincinnati, a passenger by the midnight train of Wednesday
last, from New York to Boston, rose from his seat while sound asleep, stepped
out upon the platform, and leaped off while the train was in full motion, about
four miles east of Worcester. Fortunately he fell on a soft place, and was not
We take it for granted, after a careful consideration of the case,
t.hat the Cincinnati gentleman fell on his head.
THE CRICKET OF OUR HEART.
When praise is hearty and intelligent it is a pleasant compensation for much labor and expense, and therefore the managers of
the Arch Street Theatre, Philadelphia, must have rejoiced with a
great joy nt the words spoken by the President's Pennsylvanian,upon
their production of "The Romance of a Poor Young Man,'' "adapted
from Octave Feuillet's celebrated story of the same name.'' And
we fancy tbat not without a swelling-heart could Feuillet himself
read in the P 's P. of the 11th inst, that " there is a sterling interest throughout the play, without a grasping for effect, cul-
'* minating without unnatural strain. The few melo-dramatic por-
" tions of itarenot of a vivid caste, and appear to claim allowance."
Now Mr. Dion Boucicault's melo-dramatic portions are always of
a vivid caste, and probably that is the reason why they never get
But if the bosom of Mr. Wheatley is at all elastic, Mr. Wheatley's
bosom it will be that will swell with the most proud and happy
emotion. " The character of Manuel, in which Mr. Wheatley is all
" that could be desired, is one calculated to insinuate itself into the
" best sympathies of he who witnesses it." To be able to insinuate
himself, as Manuel, into the best sympathies, of hewho witnesses
it, is a professional triumph scarcely less brilliant than the personal
one of being "all that could be desired." ^ -
If Feuillet makes another hero who " is the bud,, the bloom of
"honor, manliness and noble devotion, such a mirror of perfection
" in the higher attributes," he must get .-Mr. Wheatley to play it,
and the President's Pennsylvanian to write about it. That will be
all that could be desired. ..... %'-.■-■'
While the voice of the cricket is heard in the land.
A Political Paradox.
A Hunter opposed to a Chase.
The Boston Courier furnishes a touching anecdote of infantile
precocity. Behold 1
A Child's Idea of Mankind and Pigs.—A little flaxen haired four years old
girl in Palmer, in this State, was looking at some pigs the other day, when she
inquired of one older if God made pigs. She was told that he did, " Why,"
said the little darling, " I shouldn't think he would make pigs when he has
everybody else to make I"
We have known nothing to surpass this in simple beauty, and
few things to equal it. One parallel case, however, has been
brought to our attention.
Adopting the style of our Boston brother, we should narrate it
^ An Infant's Judgment concerning Halibut and Shrimps.—A little blue-haired two years old prattler was rolling through Fulton
Market the other day, in a wicker wagon drawn by her fond and
venerable grandmother, when she enquired, on reaching the fish
bazaar, if the salesman sold shrimps. She was told that he did.
*' Why," said the pure-minded cherub, "I should n't think he
would sell swimps when he has everything else to sell I "
Beecher's Idea of a Blush.
At one of his recent Sunday Evening Entertainments, according
to the Tribune, the Rev. Henry Ward Beecher told his people that
when he learned how the trustees of the Plymouth Church had refused the use of its pulpit to Wendell Phillips for the delivery of
his Christian and patriotic "plea for the Dissolution of the Union,"
he blushed "so that he could feel it in his boots;" We sometimes
hear of a person who laughs in his sleeve ; but this .is the first instance on record of any one who blushes in his boots. There are
undoubtedly many cases where modesty is out of place, but we
object tohaving it literally put Under Foot. So many of Beecher's
follies have been committed in the sight of all men that we cannot
believe he was born to blush unseen.
O No, I would not be the Pope.
Pope Pius' strength is fading fast,
He knows not what to do ;
His Government was Temporal,
And Temporary too!
The Holy See is lashed by storms,
. Its sovereignty decays ;
The Roman Candle soon must be
The light of Other Days !
Maritime on Dit.
The reason why they have no regattas on the Seine, is that the
water there is always Veau.